You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
