hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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