I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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