I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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