You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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