Who did Billy Mays play for?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
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I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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