Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize