Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
