a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
