All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
