Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
