): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
