even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
