distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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