found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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