He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
