bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
