I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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