oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
