I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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