Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize