An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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