omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
