the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
