need another drink. this is the easiest way
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
