Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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