i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
