This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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