I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
