So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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