I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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