The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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