I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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