How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
