her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
two words...techno handjob
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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