my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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