What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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