At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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