it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
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I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
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He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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