hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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