Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
