Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!