Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man