Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.