Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.