i think my tv is drunk
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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