Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
