I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
