Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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