Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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