I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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