The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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