I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
