I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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