OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Semen is not good for contacts.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
