You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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