Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
