My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize