its not stalking. its research.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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