She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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