hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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