But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
